Counting Sunnydale
by Lucinda
Summary: Buffy sees the most inexplicable vampire in a cemetery. S4.


author: Lucinda  
  
rating: pg13  
  
main characters: the Count, Buffy  
  
disclaimer: I hold no legal rights to Buffy (property of Joss Whedon & the Buffy the Vampire Slayer writing staff) or to the Count (property of Jim Henson & anyone else with legal rights to the Muppets/Sesame Street.).  
  
distribution: Twisting, Paula, anyone else ask first.  
  
note: this is set during season 4.  
  
  
  
  
  
"Nineteen! That's nineteen beautiful cemeteries! ah-ah-ah!" The accented voice rang out in the night air, followed by a crash of thunder and flash of lightning. "Oh, I love this town already."  
  
The cloaked figure made his way into the cemetery, his voice softer this time, just as accented. "One tombstone, two tombstones, three tombstones..."  
  
Elsewhere in the cemetery, a young blonde woman sat on a tombstone, her feet in high heeled boots swinging gently against the tombstone. One hand held a wooden stake, sanded smooth, and she stared impatiently at a fresh grave. "Hurry up and rise already, my butt's going numb sitting here."  
  
Finally, the ground in front of the tombstone began to move, and the new vampire clawed his way out, only to be impaled by the impatient blond. "Well... now that that's over with, I have to go home and study."  
  
Then she realized that she was surrounded by seven other vampires, all of them glaring at her. Buffy sighed, entirely unhappy with this new development. She could also feel another vampire in the area, a powerful one. "uh oh, and I have a test tomorrow."  
  
"Sewen! Sewen angry minions! ah-ah-ah." An accented voice floated through the night.  
  
Snarling, one of the vampires lunged, his fist headed towards Buffy's face. The others all joined in, hoping that superior numbers would enable them to defeat the Slayer. Soon, there was a flurry of punches, kicks, and efforts of varying success to dodge and stab. Dust floated down as one vampire couldn't quite dodge fast enough.  
  
"Six angry minions. And one Slayer." The voice rang out again, echoed by a flash of lightning and crash of thunder.   
  
Buffy took advantage of the thunder to stake another minion, his shocked face crumbling to dust as the rolling thunder faded. She kept fighting, trying to survive this, thinking that maybe there was something to be said for letting Willow or Xander patrol with her. She kicked another one, and amazingly, he flew back, impaling himself on a flower arrangement, dispersing into a cloud of dust.  
  
"Four angry and frightened minions, and one Slayer! ah-ah-ah." Again, lightning and thunder followed the pronouncement.  
  
Buffy glared at one of the remaining four minions, noticing that he also seemed a bit confused by the counting voice. "Who is that guy?"  
  
The minions didn't have an answer, and attacked. They had a little more working space this time, and Buffy couldn't knock them into each other as easily. She managed to stake one of them while kicking another, hitting the heart more out of luck than anything else, although she'd like to think that far too much practice had helped.  
  
"Three frightened and angry minions, and one confused Slayer!" The lightning was almost expected this time.  
  
One of the minions seemed insulted by this, and actually turned towards where the voice seemed to be coming from. "I am not afraid!"  
  
Buffy took advantage of the minion's distraction to stake him, leaving him to fall to dust, the question of his fear now unimportant. The fact that she was starting to find the commentary rather frustrating was something that she didn't intend to share.  
  
The lightning actually came before the words this time, and the thunder nearly drowned them out. "Two frightened minions, and one confused Slayer! ah-ah-ah!"  
  
Buffy made short work of the other two minions, and started towards the source of the voice, feeling extremely annoyed. She'd been ambushed, bruised, had vampire dust in her hair, and grass stains on her new pants. When she found this commentator... She hadn't expected someone like that at all.  
  
He couldn't have been taller than her waist, with dark purple skin, a thin, sharp nose, and pointed ears that peeked through slicked back dark hair. A monocle reflected the moonlight faintly, as did the two sharp fangs that seemed to be the only teeth in a wide mouth. He was dressed in something that looked too expensive to just label a suit, with a silk looking cape and a gleaming golden medallion at his throat. Seeing her, he pointed with one purple finger. "One! One confused Slayer! ah-ah-ah!"  
  
"Hey! Who are you, and what are you even doing here!" Buffy glared at the oddly short vampire.  
  
"I am Count von Count, and I am here on my vacation. Good evening to you." And with that, he bowed behind a tombstone, vanishing from sight.  
  
Buffy blinked, and then leapt over the headstone, stake ready to attack the purple vampire, only to find... nothing.  
  
"That was really freaky. Maybe Giles can explain that..." She shook her head as she started back towards the dorm. "No, I don't think anyone can explain that. It was just too weird, even for the Hellmouth."  
  
end Counting Sunnydale. 


End file.
